Is this not the cutest little boy you've ever seen?

Parents of other little boys are exempt from answering that. :)

As promised, here are some of the pictures we had taken of the kids (the rest are on our Christmas cards that are going out tomorrow so those are still a surprise!) I cannot wait for Julia's hair to be normal again! It's reaching the stage where it needs a serious intervention, but I can't bring myself to cut it very short. I'm going to take her to see my hairdresser soon and see what magic she can work.

She continues to do great. The bump up in her Trileptal dose has worked beautifully and there hasn't been a single shake out of her in weeks. Her behavior has been wonderful, although she still needs a serious lesson in how to share her toys with Daniel. And how to share Daniel's toys with Daniel. But for the most part she has been very protective and nurturing towards him. He was sick for the past week with a virus that caused three days of fever, three days of rash, and a lot of clinginess and whining. She made sure he had a blanket on him whenever he was laying down on the Boppy to drink his bottle, it was adorable. Yes, he's still on the bottle, but only for milk. I tried to get him off of it a couple of months ago but he's a stubborn one.

We leave for Texas on Friday and we're all so excited to be spending Christmas with friends and family. Merry Christmas to everyone!

Finally...an update

Once again it's been awhile since my last update...it's probably going to be par for the course here on out. Sorry. Life is crazy, but good. Very very good.

And yet...as much as I would love to say Julia continues to be seizure free, we're just not sure about that. There have been no overt seizures, nothing we can look at and say definitively, yes, that was a seizure. But there has been...shakiness. That's the best way to describe it. And it happened upon waking up, which is when the seizures used to strike. Otherwise she is completely lucid, talkative, the whole nine yards. We emailed Dr. C about it and he raised her Trileptal dose a couple of weeks ago and the shakiness has gone away. That tells me yes...what we saw was neurological. I can't help but think it's related to her motor strip, where they did the MST procedure in an effort to save her right-sided motor function. Hopefully the meds will control things from here on out. It's a bummer...I'm not going to lie. I don't ever want to even think about seizures ever again. But in the grand scheme of things, it's okay. We need to have an EEG done and will get that scheduled sometime after the holidays. That will hopefully tell us more about what's going on in there.

Other than that though she is doing great. We started the Fast Forword program I mentioned in my last post and she is doing the demo programs and has learned to use the mouse. I am amazed at how relatively quickly she picked that up. She can move the cursor to an object, click on it, and drag and drop it appropriately. It's crazy. We are waiting to start the actual program until after Christmas since we will be out of town and the program needs to be done consistently for maximum results. Keeping her focused for the entire 30 minutes is going to be a challenge but I'm sure it's a common problem...she is 3, for crying out loud.

She started speech therapy this week at a new practice. Her old therapist was wonderful but the new place is just a few minutes away from our house, and it was taking up to a half hour to get to the other place. She goes twice a week and had a fabulous week with her new therapist...she was very chatty and showing off her counting skills. It's been exciting to hear her talk in longer sentences. She is also constantly asking me what things are...the washing machine...a car's headlight...a sidewalk curb. And she's retaining all these new words which is exciting to hear. It seems as though her mental processing speed has picked up. She sings songs all the time and hits the words at the right times...previously she always used to be a beat or two off.

Pictures...I've been TERRIBLE about taking pictures. But we had the kids' portraits done the day before Thanksgiving and I should be getting those back soon. Once I do I promise they'll be posted. And now I'm going to post this before something else comes up. :)

Time is slipping away from me! I can't believe it's been so long since I last updated. I haven't even taken any pictures since Halloween...if you asked me what our days consist of and why I've been so absent I couldn't even tell you. We are just living life I suppose.

Julia went back to school last week and it's been wonderful for all of us. Even though her Pre-K class is a 5 day a week program, she is only attending school on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. Monday and Thursdays she has PT and OT in the morning, and on Thursdays she also has speech. I'm hoping by the new year we can reduce the frequency of therapy down to once a week so she can go to school an extra day.

She is also going to start a very exciting program called Fast Forword. This software is promoted as building literacy and improving reading skills but it also increases cognition and processing. I first read about this amazing program in the book The Brain that Changes Itself (a highly recommended read to my fellow seizure parents...all about neuroplasticity) and was determined that when Julia was old enough I'd find a local program to enroll her in. As luck would have it, the only center in Cincinnati that offers it is just a couple of miles from our house. The program starts at age 5 but there is a preschool version for kids age 4 and up that they feel will be appropriate for Julia. I placed our order today and we should have the software in a week or so. It consists of 6-10 weeks of five 30 minute sessions a week. I'm so excited to see how it goes.

Other than that she is doing great. No seizures!

Daniel is doing wonderfully too. He is so close to walking...he will stand by himself for quite awhile, take steps between furniture, walk just holding one of my hands...it's exciting stuff! I'm sure by Christmas he will be walking full-time. And speaking of Christmas...we are thrilled to be spending Christmas in Texas. We didn't think it was going to happen this year, after all of the vacation time Michael had to take for Julia's surgery he has a negative balance this year for the first time ever. But after some creative wrangling we managed to make it work. We are thrilled that we'll get to see most of our family and that they will get to see Julia in person (Julia 2.0 I've been calling her).

Halloween

Yesterday's weather cooperated beautifully...it was chilly (in the low 50's) but dry so we decided to do a bit of trick or treating. All week people had been asking Julia what she was going to be for Halloween, if she was going trick or treating...I don't think she really understood what they were talking about. But once it was time to get costumes on and I brought her Elmo bucket out that she used last year, it all came back to her. She was pumped and it was all I could do to keep her indoors until 6pm hit and we could start our candy quest.

I briefly coaxed her into the spider costume that she had rejected. I thought this would be the better costume since it was chilly and she seemed to like it at first...

She and Daniel each thought the other one looked hysterical.

But in the end, the princess dress won out! Can't say I blame her...she did look darling!

We got off to a good start, she was thrilled to set off down the street and was yelling "trick or treat!" as we went.

The first house we stopped at had barking dogs in the garage which scared her, so we skipped that one. After that we only stopped at two houses before she was ready to go home. She's been a little shy with strangers lately so the whole trick or treat experience was a little overwhelming for her this year. We came home and she helped me pass out candy to the kids who came by our house (when she wasn't raiding our candy bowl). Overall it was a lot of fun!

Michael and Daniel were with us too but he stayed in his stroller while we went up to each house. Poor kiddo...I didn't get any pictures of him out and about!

Our little mermaid

Did anyone seriously think I wouldn't buy Julia her princess costume?

Here's our little Ariel modeling her Halloween costume, this one with the Julia stamp of approval. Halloween is supposed to be rainy and cold so we may just stay home and pass out candy to the older kids. That will probably be just as fun for her anyway.

She's had a great week. She's doing wonderfuly at therapy and has really warmed up to her therapists. In fact tonight in the bathtub she was asking if we were going to see Amber, her occupational therapist, tomorrow. We are dropping therapy down to twice a week and she will be going back to school the other three days, starting next week. She is so excited to get back to school, it's going to be so wonderful for her.

Pictures

As promised from yesterday, here are a few pictures...

First, our smiling girl...

Then, before and after shots of Daniel's new 'do...

And finally, the little man modeling his Tigger Halloween costume. Not the greatest picture but it was the best I could get!

Julia is not impressed with the spider costume I chose for her last year on clearance...she keeps talking about wanting a "princess" costume...I'm in trouble!

The good news continues

What a week this has been...in an entirely good way! Now that the fever is gone and we are full steam ahead on the road to recovery, things just feel so positive and exciting. First and foremost is the thrill of seeing Julia wake up each morning and after each nap without a seizure striking. That will never get old. But even beyond that, she has changed so much in such a short period of time. Much of the change is subtle...Michael and I both agree that she just seems more mature. For instance, she insists on using a fork to eat her meals, whereas before we would have to remind her many times to use it and even then she would rather just use her hands for everything. She also seems to understand so much more of what we are saying. This has dramatically cut down on the temper tantrums that we saw pre-surgery. Don't get me wrong...she still can get mad when you tell her no. But we're not seeing any prolonged, full body kicking and screaming on the ground tantrums like we used to.

Other things...she's interested in other children in an entirely new way. We went out to lunch today and she was trying to catch the attention of kids her age at other tables. Pre-surgery? She wouldn't have noticed them at all. Tonight we went to a Halloween party that my mom's group put on. She got excited when she saw the sandbox and went and played in it. Before surgery she HATED sandboxes. She has stopped putting things in her mouth that shouldn't be there. This had gotten a lot better before surgery but we still had issues...and I haven't seen anything at all since. The list goes on and on. I had hoped for all of these positive changes but to see them in action is so heartwarming...I can't begin to express how proud of her I am.

We still have work to do, undoubtedly. Her speech is still behind and there is a lot of catching up to do. She is still weak on her right side and towards the end of the day doesn't initiate using her right hand much, if at all. But overall she is leaps and bounds ahead of where she was pre-surgery. And that makes it pretty darn easy to keep working at the other stuff.

I have quite a few pictures to upload but Blogger was being difficult today and wouldn't let me. I will try again tomorrow. They include before and after photos of Daniel's first haircut...adorable! We didn't cut a lot off, just cleaned it up a bit, and the effect is so cute that words don't do it justice.

Home again

We're home! CRP was lower...PICC line is out. Julia is doing fantastic now that the fever is gone. There is a brightness in her eyes that we haven't seen since before surgery. She just feels better, you can tell. It finally feels like we're on the road to recovery. Her grid surgery was September 18th, we were released yesterday, October 18th. A month of ups and downs, but a month that is now behind us. I still feel like I need to knock wood when I say this, but I'm excited about what's to come and feel very optimistic and hopeful. This is the feeling I expected to have after surgery...it came, just a little later than I anticipated. But no matter...it's here, and that's what counts.

Still thinking of Danielle, Johnathan and Trevor as they continue to endure their hospital stay. I can't wait until you guys are at this point too...it will come...I promise. Hugs to you all.

The weekend

Sorry for not updating, but it's been difficult to come up with something to write...this stay has not followed any linear path, and many times we have asked each other, "Why are we here?". Now that the end is in sight I'll try and recap the weekend.

Friday's bloodwork was all normal except for her CRP, which was really high compared to Wednesday's level. Again, CRP measures inflammation in the body, but doesn't indicate where that inflammation is. So they again became concerned that there was an infection present somewhere. But where? The PICC line? Her brain? Somewhere else? Saturday night they did another CT scan, this one with contrast to see if the contrast would pick up an abcess or infection somewhere. It was thankfully normal, and her cultures continued to be normal.

They also kept wondering if it was the PICC, but they didn't want to take it out in case she might need it later on. They wanted to flush it with some kind of alcohol-type solution to kill whatever might be in there, but of course, they couldn't get the solution until Monday because nothing happens on the weekend in a hospital. GRR.

They drew another CRP last night and it is now coming down. Dr. Sood came by this morning and said they will draw another one this morning and if that's coming down, we can go home today. That would indicate that there is no infection present, and whatever caused her number to go up in the first place is going or has gone away.

She hasn't run fever since Friday night which has been wonderful and has furthered the case for there not being any infection. She's been in a good mood, considering she's in the hospital, wanting to color, go for rides in the wagon, and is more "her" than at any point since before surgery. I think the fever just sucked her energy and she can now truly focus on recovery.

My theory on all of this, including her behavior Wednesday and Thursday that caused us (okay, me) to panic and come up here on Friday...I think it was viral. She was not well, that much is for sure, but it was not hydrocephalus or anything related to her surgery. It just happened to coincide with a recent brain surgery, at a time when we are hypervigilant and prone to freaking out, just a little. :)

So fingers crossed for a lower CRP today...I think the odds are strongly in our favor. Then it's home sweet home...take two.

Good news (I think)

So we got to Detroit around 10am this morning and quickly went back for the CT scan. Dr. Sood said he didn't see anything to him that would indicate hydrocephalus...there were some small pockets of fluid but the normal amount you would expect to see after surgery. Whew! However...we did get admitted. BUMMER. They drew blood and are going to compare the results to Wednesday's tests. He also said that if her symptoms continue without being able to determine why, they may go in through one of her drain incisions to drain some fluid and see if that relives any pressure or symptoms. Let's hope they don't have to go there.

So far so good...she's in a good mood, her fever has been gone for a few hours without the aid of Tylenol or Motrin, and she's eating very well. She did throw up a little while after lunch which made me anxious about them wanting to keep us longer but was immediately asking for food again. Silly girl.

And the silver lining of this whole trip...I got to meet Danielle, her husband and sweet little Trevor. He is an absolute doll...just as cute as in his pictures but those eyes just jump out at you in person. It was great to give her a hug, I hope they get to go home soon! And that we do too!

Back to Detroit

I don't have much emotional energy right now so this will be short and sweet. We're headed to Detroit bright and early tomorrow morning. Julia started showing signs of hydrocephalus today which is a potential complication after epilepsy surgery. Basically the brain isn't able to recirculate spinal fluid like it normally does and the fluid builds up. She'll get a CT scan there and if necessary will have to have a shunt put in. I don't want to get ahead of myself...hopefully this won't be the case, hopefully these symptoms can be attributed to something else. But if I'm honest with myself...I really am not very confident that she'll be able to avoid another surgery.

Oh, and the fever stayed away for quite awhile yesterday and today, but it's back...unfortunately.

Will update tomorrow as I'm able.

We're here!

I've gotten some feedback lately that people are missing the frequency of my posts about Julia...I apologize! I know we have a ton of people following her progress...and as I continue to hear about friends of friends that are rooting for her, my heart just swells with gratitude. It blows me away to think of all the people reading about and cheering for our sweet girl. So thank you!

Today we had a little bit of a scare. The fever has continued, despite my last update about the break we'd had last week. It has still mainly been in that 100-degree range, which is considered low-grade when it comes to this type of thing. Yesterday, however, she spiked a 102 degree temp while our home health nurse was here changing her PICC dressing. This caused a flurry of phone activity as to what to do, when to take her to the hospital, etc. We had never received any guidelines on this so while I was interested to hear what Detroit had to say on the matter, I still hesitated to rush her to the ER, especially with the H1N1 stuff going on and all of the stories I'd been hearing of crowded waiting rooms and long wait times.

So Detroit said they'd get back to me by tomorrow and I put it out of my mind, especially since she'd still continued to be her normal, sweet, hungry self (seriously, the girl can eat!). Then this morning...and a 104 degree fever. I've never seen such a high temp and to say it scared me is putting it mildly. I called Michael, said we need to get her to the ER, and away we went. After about 5 hours in the ER, we came away with the same outcome as all of her other tests...low white blood cell count, low CRP, no infection, normal chest x-ray, normal urine culture...in short, no explanation for the fever. Detroit was on the phone the whole time with Cincinnati and in the end Dr. Sood felt the Vancomycin must be to blame. So she's off the Vanc for at least the next 48 hours to see if the fever goes away.

If the fever comes back he said we'll remove the PICC line to see if it's an infection caused by that. But he feels she does not have a true infection because her behavior is fine other than the fever. For now I'm relishing the thought of the next two nights and beyond of uninterrupted sleep. Getting up at 12:30am for her 1am Vanc dose has already gotten quite old and I'm more than happy to not have my sleep interrupted!

In other news, the healing continues. The only deficit we are seeing continues to be that right sided weakness. We have started therapy and she's getting both PT and OT three times a week. Speech has been kept to once a week since she didn't suffer any loss with the surgery. It's a bit of a rough schedule and it wears Julia out, but she's responding well to her therapists and it's doing her a world of good.

Will update tomorrow with hopefully good news...fingers crossed for no more fever!

The good news continues

Now that we've been home for several days, life feels like it's starting to get back to normal. If we didn't have to do these IV antibiotics every 6 hours it would feel even more normal but even that is not a huge deal and will only last four more weeks at most.

Julia just amazes us on a daily basis...cognitively and verbally she's where she was before surgery, and we're already seeing her do new things just two weeks out from surgery. For instance, she loves to watch Signing Time videos that teach sign language. Before surgery she'd just watch the videos and although she knew several signs wouldn't sign along with the TV. Now she copies every sign and sings along with the music.

Last night we put her to bed and I left the door cracked open. Before surgery we would lock her door from the outside since her room is right at the top of the stairs and we didn't want her getting out in the middle of the night and potentially hurting herself. Post-surgery, I thought that since she wasn't walking without help I didn't have to worry about anything. That was until she got out of bed, walked downstairs and into the living room BY HERSELF. We were all in a panic at the thought of how she could have hurt herself if she'd fallen down the stairs, etc. But putting aside the panic, I was so proud that she actually did it! She's also asking to use the potty so it seems that our potty training success pre-surgery hasn't been wiped out.

This morning I realized she hadn't felt warm in awhile and took her temp, and it was 98.3. First normal temp in over a week, AND she hadn't had Tylenol or Motrin in 16 hours. Woohoo! One more item to cross off my worry list, because even if it's a tiny little thing in relative terms, I can worry more than anyone!

In other news, Daniel is getting over a nasty stomach bug that seems to have been a 24 hour thing because it's winding down. It was not fun for anyone while it lasted. He also had his 12 month checkup on Monday and is doing great.

Daniel's 1st birthday

Yesterday was a big day for many reasons, not the least of which was Daniel's birthday! It's amazing to think my little baby is now a one year old. Time is flying by the second time around.

This is Daniel pretty much all the time...smiley, happy, an utter joy to be around.

Julia enjoyed the fesitivities as well...I think she ate about 3 cupcakes yesterday! We just couldn't say no on her first day home.

Daniel enjoyed his birthday cake, and it wasn't the free for all that I expected. He would swipe one finger in the frosting, put it in his mouth...swipe the frosting, finger in the mouth. The picture below was about the extent of the mess, although there was a nice glob of frosting in his hair when it was all said and done.

The big present from us was this little fire truck. He also got presents from other family members and has been having a blast with his new toys.

Here is our girl getting her meds through her PICC line. It's going very smoothly so far, although getting up at 1am was not a lot of fun last night. She slept right through it though! Can you tell by that smile she's happy to be home? The past 24 hours have been pure bliss. Every day she continues to get stronger and stronger. Yesterday she was able to walk with very little help. She is also using her right hand to eat and play with toys. Life is good.

We're home

Just a quick note to say we made it home a few hours ago. There was no better feeling than walking in the door. Julia is so happy to be here and she and Daniel have already been having fun together. Thank you for all of the prayers and good thoughts during our hospital stay. As well as Julia is doing, the healing process has just begun. Please keep all of those good vibes coming our way.

And last but definitely not least...happy birthday to my sweet boy Daniel.

We're going home!

What a freaking rollercoaster. So after we got the news that Dr. Sood had changed his mind and resigned ourselves to staying for the weekend or even beyond, our luck changed. The PA from neurosurgery came back and said Dr. Sood decided to let us go after all. He would have liked Julia to be free from fever for a day but realized that this could go on for awhile. We could have left today but by the time we got the news it was close to 3pm and we couldn't get home in time to set up a meeting with the home health nurse to get her at-home Vancomycin started. So the discharge order is in the system to be effective at 5am tomorrow. She'll get her 6am dose which takes an hour to administer and then we hit the road. We'll be home in time to meet the nurse at our house at noon and in time for Daniel's birthday! Woohoo!

Julia had another good day and worked really hard during PT and speech. The physical therapist thinks she'll be back in shape in no time. She still can not stand on her own or walk but is gaining more strength by the day. We also went for a walk around the hospital while Julia rode in a wagon. She was wearing the hat that Elaine and Sophie sent her last week (along with a cute purse)...she loves it! And her hair didn't look TOO crazy, which was a nice benefit.

We are so relieved to be leaving tomorrow...let's just hope nothing happens to jinx things. And I get to be home for my baby's first birthday which is just the icing on the cake.

Such a tease

This morning Dr. Sood came in and said we could be released today...we were overjoyed. She still ran a temperature overnight but it wasn't terribly high and I figured they were okay with it since her other tests have been good. We had the home health care nurse set up to come tonight, the papers for discharge were being prepared, prescriptions for outpatient rehab were being sent to Cincinnati Children's, I was back at the International House packing up our stuff, and as I headed back to the room I got the text from Michael...he was keeping her another night. Apparently he hadn't seen the last temp and so decided he wasn't going to release her.

To say we are dejected is an understatement. I was absolutely giddy at the thought of going home, now we are so deflated. We have a question into Dr. Sood right now about what it's going to take for her to go home...because we cannot stay here indefinitely. Especially after hearing of other cases where these fevers lasted for quite awhile post-op. When we get an answer I'll update.

Blergh

That's really the only word for this...blergh. We are going to be here for the weekend and maybe even longer than that. There's just no getting around it. She's still running fever and they're not going to let us go until that stops. Her CRP that was tested today went down substantially which is good...it shows that there's less inflamation in the brain which would indicate no infection. We like that. But why the fever? I got on a Yahoo message board for hemispherectomies and read of at least five kids that ran unexplained fever for 1-2 months after surgery...surely we won't be here that long?! The girl from neurosurgery who gave us the CRP results said no, that wouldn't happen, but what is it going to take for us to be released?

Feeling very frustrated right now.

ETA: Just had lots of fun and laughs with our sweet girl. I managed to get a good picture of her smiling. What on Earth are we going to do with that hair? This picture doesn't even do it justice!

Another day...

We're still in a holding pattern, unfortunately. Urine culture was negative, chest x-ray negative. Still no reason for the fever she continues to run. The Dilantin was discontinued so that doesn't seem to be the reason (although she's much more alert, so I'm glad she's off it.) Dr. Sood said they're going to check her CRP (C-reactive protein) and if that's coming down it indicates the antibiotic is the cause. They aren't going to release her until they know more or it goes away though. I thought perhaps they might but I understand why they won't.

However! She is doing great other than that. Eating like a champ and this morning we even got some smiles and giggles out of her. Her strength is slowly coming back, she can sit up very well and keep her head up nicely. PT worked with her today on standing and it wiped her out but she did well.

I also got to speak to Cincinnati Children's and they strongly recommend she do inpatient rehab. She'll get PT, OT and speech twice a day plus therapeutic play time. If we were to do outpatient she'd be lucky to get each of those twice a WEEK. Can't argue with that. I think she'll respond quickly, we've already seen quite a bit of recovery without much therapy so maybe we can get by with a week of inpatient and then switch to outpatient.

Continuing to hope the fever disappears soon...

Good day

The upswing continues! Julia's appetite is back with a vengenance...for breakfast she had TWO yogurts, a small box of Cheerios and half a cup of milk. I was afraid it would come back up but nope, she held it all down. She's also...ahem...pooping. (Sorry for the TMI, but when you're in the hospital that's a big deal!) So that's a hurdle that's been crossed.

The only thing holding us up now...the darn fever! Still no cause for it, every test has been run that is possible so it either boils down to a drug fever caused by something she's on, or a bug that she's picked up during her stay. The Dilantin has been cancelled effective this afternoon, and fever is a potential side effect of that, so we'll soon see if that was the culprit.

Everyone is talking about Friday to release us so hopefully her fever is long gone by then.

Turning a corner?

Dare I hope? Have we turned a corner? Yesterday Julia slept all day...literally. From about 9am to 7pm she did not wake up. Most of that was due to the Ativan she got earlier to stop the shivering, and some sedation she received to get her PICC line put back in. But that was by far the longest stretch of sleep she's had since we've been here. From the time she woke up until now we haven't seen any weird episodes, minimial irritability, her fever has been kept in a low range (no higher than 100 degrees), and she's been herself for the most part. We've been able to get her to eat and drink, even though the amounts are still small. She slept on and off overnight and is sleeping now.

They are doing a urine culture to see if the fever could be caused by a UTI. All of her bloodwork and cultures continue to be normal. We also got reassuring news that the staph variety from the original culture is Staph. epidermidis which is treatable with Vancomycin so even if the infection were real (and everything indicates it's not) it's manageable. The other possibility is this is a reaction to the Vancomycin, or related to the thrush.

We wish we could either get her over this fever or get to the bottom of it quickly because this will be the only thing to keep us here. Otherwise she's ready to be released to Cincinnati Children's for rehab. We are still not clear on if we can do outpatient instead of inpatient, we need to learn more about what insurance will cover, differences in services, etc., but being back home will make such a difference for us.

Daniel's first birthday is on Saturday and although Julia's health is the priority I will be pretty disappointed if I miss it. I miss him so much and want to be home again badly. Fingers crossed that it will be soon.

Tuesday update

First, a recap of the past 24 hours:

• Julia began running fever early Monday morning and we've been treating it with Tylenol. No one is concerned at all, her blood work, cultures, and incisions are all normal so it's not related to infection. Fever can happen after major surgery or it could be a response to the antibiotic. I still don't like it but I realize it's not anything to worry about.
• Last night she began having some major muscle twitching and spasming. Again, no one thinks it's seizure related. Dr. Chugani this morning thinks it's a reaction to medication and he's stopping her Dilantin effective immediately since we've started her on Trileptal.
• Last night we were also able to get her to eat more, she had a few bites of green beans, mac and cheese, french fries and yogurt. It's a great start!
• She is also seeming much more herself, her language is improving steadily, which is the biggest boost of all to my improved mood.

Dr. Chugani wants to get us home within a few days, he feels she will recover best at home and we couldn't agree more. He reminded us today that she had major surgery...the recovery takes time and he said he's seen all kinds of behavior that can't be explained but is all temporary.

Thank you for the wonderful comments and emails after yesterday's post. It felt good to get those feelings out and it felt great to hear all the love and support from everyone.

Silver lining

She finally ate...a container of ice cream. She gobbled it down like...a person who hasn't eaten in 10 days. Go figure! Definitely helped improve my mood some.

Venting

This is going to be a downer post, so be forewarned.

Julia is doing well, but her recovery isn't going as smoothly as we would have hoped and it's really got us down. We are tired, emotional, sick of being in the hospital, and none of that is helping with our coping skills. We hoped and perhaps naively thought that she'd have her surgery, recover for 3-4 days, and be good as new. Unfortunately it's not happening like that. And the bumps in the road are most likely that, just bumps, but there's been so many that they're starting to feel more like pot holes.

First there was the staph scare, which necessitates a 6 week course of IV antibiotics. For a child who cannot STAND to have anything in her arm, that request feels like 6 months to us. Last night as she tossed and turned she pulled out her PICC line. It wasn't a mess and didn't seem to hurt her but it was extremely disheartening. Now she has to have another one put in, in a short procedure that requires sedation. Ugh. They can't do it until tomorrow, so that just adds more time to our stay.

Then there's the physical issues...and they are not minor. She has substantial weakness on her right side and while the strength is improving daily it's not anywhere close to where it was when we walked into the hospital. Her left side is also very uncoordinated. The PT department here looked at her today and said they would recommend to keep her in the inpatient rehab program for two weeks. Two weeks, you read that right. We are working with them to get her transfered to Cincinnati Children's since there is no reason for us to be so far from home for something like that, but it's disheartening to learn that we've got more time before things will go back to normal. And then there's a part of us that wonders, will they ever go back to normal?

She's also so frightened and sad. She lashes out when anyone tries to tend to her, even if it's me trying to change a pull up. She is sick of the hospital, sick of nurses and doctors. We realized today that she has thrush and that's most likely why she hasn't been eating or drinking. We've started some medication to clear it up but it's just one more hiccup, one more complication, however minor, keeping us from getting back to normal.

I have censored a lot of my fears and sadness over this process from the blog because I don't want people to worry but right now it's hard to do. None of the doctors are worried and say that her moodiness and irritability are age appropriate. I thought of this surgery as the answer to our prayers, I looked forward to the outcome and seeing her progress. And logically I still realize that we are in the healing stage and to give her time. More and more we are just sad...yes, the seizures are gone. I am grateful for that. But I also want my girl back.

(I can't be a total downer...she did sing "Wheels on the bus" with me just now.)

Daily update

Little tidbits since yesterday:

• Dr. Sood came by this morning and said she looks great. All of the staph cultures have been negative except of course the one from surgery so good news there too. Medically there's not much more of a reason to keep her here so after PT assesses her on Monday and we get the home health care set up for her antibiotics, we should be good to go! I'm hanging my hat on Tuesday.
• We've been getting her to sit up in bed for short periods of time and she's already gained quite a bit of strength back. She can keep her head upright now. Her right side is getting stronger and stronger, she's now moving her fingers too.
• This morning she told me "lay down" after she'd been sitting up for awhile. She also has been asking for massages...can't think of how to phonetically spell the way she says it but those who know her can picture it. She has always loved for people to lightly run their fingers over her back, arms and legs and we call them massages. She has been asking for them all morning and I'm happy to oblige!
• Later this morning we're going to get her up and out of this room. They're going to get us a wagon and pad it with pillows and we're going to wheel her around the halls. I think it will do her some good, she definitely has some depression from being in this bed and room for so long.
• She still has not had anything to eat since we've been here...10 days now. She's had things to drink but no food. Yesterday she asked for a cracker but then wouldn't eat it. I think the Vancomycin is messing with her stomach. She needs to eat and poop before we can leave so hopefully we can tempt her with something.

That's it for now! Fingers crossed for a good day and some good progress!

She's back!

Everyone said to expect something to happen today, and to be honest there was a part of me that was scared somehow we'd be the exception. She got her EVD drain out a few hours ago and immediately afterward a nurse helped me wash her hair and give her a sponge bath. At that point she seemed so much more comfortable and content...still a bit grumpy but much less so than before. Then...the words started coming...some I hadn't heard in days, others I hadn't heard since before surgery..."mommy, "want a cracker", "no", "puppy"...and that's just in ten minutes! I think Michael and I were about to cry with happiness, because we've missed her so much. Even though she's been physically with us it's like we haven't seen her since early Tuesday.

Just had to share the news!

Saturday update

(Sorry this took so long to post, I've been enjoying Daniel this morning.)

It's been kind of status quo for the past 24 hours. She got her JP drain out yesterday as mentioned in the previous post and her bandages off. That seemed to go some way in making her more comfortable but she's still having some discomfort and cries quite a bit. The doctors as well as us don't think it's pain related, her heart rate isn't rising and she sleeps in between crying, so I wonder if she could be having headaches or is maybe just feeling funky after having so much of her brain altered. She is very quiet but in the past 12 hours has started saying "no" and "milk" so we're making some progress. Still no seizures which is wonderful, and she is using her right side quite a bit more than yesterday which is very nice to see.

She'll be getting the last drain out today, the EVD drain. After that is out we can give her a shower, wash her hair, get her dressed, sit her up...all kinds of things that will hopefully go some way to making her more comfortable. We saw neurology awhile ago and were informed that PT won't be coming by today because it's the weekend. More and more I'm wondering why they scheduled her grid surgery for Friday and resection for Tuesday when it seems everyone else is the opposite schedule. So far it's added nothing but frustration. An extra day of grids, possibly more time in the hospital because nothing is going to happen this weekend with PT...it's very frustrating. So now the likelihood of going home Monday has gone down. We will do what we need to do to get well as quickly as possible but needless to say, we are ready to go home.

More good news

Things feel so good today...the end is in sight and Julia keeps doing better and better. She had a rough night but only because she's improving. The anesthesia has definitely worn off, she wants to move around and get on her tummy to be more comfortable but can't because we have to have her arms restrained so she can't get at her drains. Lest anyone worry that she's being tortured...they are loosely restrained and she can move them quite a bit, she just can't lift her arms above her head. Still no seizures, which is just amazing and a wonderful thing to witness. Her vitals are still perfect and her swelling has gone down a ton. Michael took the night shift and was able to get her head in a centered position, so she can now open both eyes and her face is no longer puffy.

Dr. Sood came by this morning and said the fluid they tested yesterday was negative for staph. I'm assuming the fluid is cerebrospinal fluid (correct, other surgery parents?) The relief I felt at that cannot be put into words. It seems almost certain we were just the unlucky ones who had to deal with a contaminant but at this point, I almost don't care. I hate that we have a 6 week IV antibiotic course in our future but it almost seems minor compared to the alternative.

The other good news is that she gets her JP drain out today along with the dressing. The dressing seems to really bother her and I'm hoping once those are both out she'll be a bit more comfortable. She'll get the remaining drain out tomorrow.

She hasn't really said any meaningful words since yesterday but that is because the brain swelling is at it's peak right now...so no cause for alarm, although I'd love to hear her sweet voice do something other than cry. That has been hard because it just tears at my heart, but knowing this should be the last day of this makes a huge difference.

Not much to say...

Today has been a good day...not much has happened while we're in that quiet healing process. She had her PICC line inserted around noon today, which is now the only IV she has...good in a way but this is going to be tough to deal with at home. Still not showing any signs of infection, thankfully. She woke up for awhile earlier and was talking a little again, simple words still like "juice" and "mommy". I feel like she's a little more aware today than last night, but I know we probably still have one more day of healing before she'll really wake up.

Julia's Nana and Aunt Nana came up to see us today, they've been watching Daniel back home and I was so ready to see him again. He got so excited when he saw Julia and wanted to get in her bed with her. I took him outside to get a little fresh air for awhile which was so nice.

Here's our girl today...you can see the majority of the swelling is in her right eye since she's been laying with her head to the side. We've been trying to slowly prop her head up to get it into a central position but she seems to be more comfortable this way.

Just a quiet little update to let everyone know that things are good!

Better...

Julia did very well overnight...slept for the most part, no fever, good breathing, etc. Dr. Sood came in this morning to check on her and talked to us a bit about the staph. He said in 15 years they've only had 3 cases of a swab from surgery showing any infection. IV antibiotics were started and each case was fine, no problems after finishing the course. He also said there have been a few cases where the swabs were negative, the patient went home and infection flared up and got to the bone. But those patients were also fine after more intervention. I asked him directly..."Should we panic?" He was very surprised and said "No, why, were you panicking?" I said "YES!". He was very reassuring and said the levels were very low, it's not anything very serious, just a minor bump that will be fixed with the antibiotics.

Dr. Chugani also came and talked to Michael (unfortunately I missed him when I left to go shower and change). He strongly feels it was a contaminated sample because of some very technical factors that I won't go into because I'm not sure I fully understand them myself. :) He seemed very regretful that we have to put her through this intense antibiotic course since his gut feeling is that it's ultimately not necessary. But at least we'll know we're covering our bases and she'll be okay. I can't begin to explain the relief I feel.

She's been more awake this morning, still a little fussy but wanting to hold our hands and saying "mama" which is music to my ears. I'm hopeful that she'll start to wake up a little more as the day goes on and that by tomorrow we'll be on a steady uphill trend. Unfortunately Dr. C thinks her swelling will be worse tomorrow since that's just the way it goes.

Thanks for all the prayers and love...

And the rollercoaster continues

Well...we definitely got news a little while ago that was not welcome. One of the swabs that was done during surgery and cultured came back positive for the presence of staph. The level is in the "rare" category, which is the least severe. It's not classified as an infection quite yet, she's not showing any symptoms or running fever. I called Dr. Chugani at home in a panic (God bless that man for giving me his home number!) and he helped to calm me down...he felt it was too soon after surgery for the culture to be showing any sign of staph and that it could be a contaminant from the surgery itself, something from the skin for example. He said if she had an infection she would be showing signs, i.e. fever, heart rate, etc. So far she is not.

They started her on an IV course of Vancomycin and for now plan on sending her home with a PIC line and a 4 week course of IV antibiotics. I asked Dr. Chugani how we would know if it was a real issue or not and he said when they determine what type of staph it is they would know. He said they haven't had an infection in years and years and it would surprise him if this is one. I hope he is right. For now we are scared to death and for once I think Michael is holding it together better than I am. (Love you M.)

I of course immediately turned to Google and found several stories of something like this happening after epilepsy surgery and while it was an ordeal in and of itself it didn't have any lasting implications. What makes this a little hard right now is she is still so out of it from surgery that we can't rely on behavior as an indicator that all is well.

Again...prayers, good vibes, all of it is needed and appreciated.

Julia this morning in ICU shortly before we were moved to a regular room.

Today has been a good day...quiet, but good. Thanks to other parents who have gone before us, I know what to expect for the first couple of days after surgery...which is not much. She opens her eye every so often (just one because the other is very swollen), moves her left hand and left leg, and then drifts off to sleep again. Her right side is very weak but she has moved both her leg and arm. Dr. Asano saw us for a bit earlier and said her tone looks good which indicates the ability is there, just weak for the moment.

She has talked a little more today..."yes", "more juice", "watch a show"...she's in there, just recovering. She drank a cup of apple juice which is by far the most she's had to drink since we've been here.

We also haven't seen any seizures which needless to say is very, very nice.

The morning after

Julia did well overnight...we didn't get a phone call and I was at her bedside by 5:30am. The nurse said she had a good night and slept for the most part. She is still weak on her right side, able to use her right arm and hand. Her right leg is not moving much yet but this will improve with time. Dr. Sood came by this morning and said she looked good. She will be moved to a regular room sometime later today once a bed is available. She woke up for a little while this morning and was saying "Mommy" but not much more...she's getting regular pain meds so isn't awake much for now. All of this is to be expected as she heals.

For now things look good!

Post-Surgery

Dr. Sood came and spoke with us around 6:45pm and said the surgery went well. He feels that because there is no more spiking that she will be seizure free. If there's one thing I've learned about doctors, and especially neurologists, definitive statements like that are few and far between. I am so hopeful that will be the case.

There was going to be some time before she would go to recovery and then ICU so we took that opportunity to leave the hospital and get some dinner which was SO nice. We got a call on the way back that she was already in ICU and we just saw her. She's sleeping peacefully and looks wonderful. The nurse said she's already said "take it off" when they put a blood pressure cuff on her leg and "no!" when the doctor shined the flashlight in her eyes. That's our girl...giving it to the man. Maybe this is premature...it probably is...but Julia can be very hard to understand, especially by strangers. The fact that this nurse could understand her was very exciting. And the fact that she's talking is VERY reassuring!

We are back at the International House to try and catch up on sleep. We left our numbers with the nurse to call us if she wakes up and wants us so we can rush back. Hopefully she'll get some good sleep and we will too. We sorely need it, the past four nights have really taken their toll. We'll be back by her side bright and early tomorrow. Signing off...

It's Over!

The surgery has been completed and Dr. Sood is closing her up. Dr. Asano just came and spoke to us about the procedure. She did end up needing the MST on her motor cortex, there was much less spiking after removing the three lobes, but it was still there. After the MST, the spiking was gone. She will have some temporary right sided weakness as a result but will recover complete use of her right side within a few weeks. Dr. Sood is supposed to come and speak to us around 6pm and then she will go to recovery around 8pm. If there aren't any other patients at that time we can go and see her then, otherwise we'll be able to see her in the PICU around 9pm.

We are so relieved this is over! Now we can focus on healing. Thank you for all of your support and prayers!

update #3

All is well, just still waiting. Got a call maybe 45 minutes ago that things were fine but with no real news. Since it had been 2 hours since I last updated I thought I'd better post something. We are passing the time well, as we keep getting these positive updates it reduces our stress levels considerably. The internet is helping us kill time, as well as watching weird Canadian TV (Windsor, Ontario is right across the lake).

update #2

Dr. Chugani came in again around 1:00pm and said all was still going well. The resection had not been completed but was well underway. This is going to take awhile! We went and had some lunch and are now back in the waiting room.

update #1

We got an update that surgery started around 10am EST. Dr. Chugani just came out and visited with us for a bit. He had just left the OR and said everything was proceeding as planned. Nothing much else to report...which at this point is a good thing.

To answer a question of Elaine's and maybe explain it to everyone else...the MST procedure isn't guaranteed to happen but they are framing it as a likely outcome. The three lobes, temporal, occipital and parietal will be removed first, then they will test the motor cortex again to see if the spiking that was previously seen was secondary to the dysplaisa in the three lobes. It's just wait and see.

Here it is...THE day

Julia is back in the OR, we haven't received a call yet that surgery has started but we have handed her off and now we wait. We are scared, anxious, and ready for it to be over...and at the same time hopeful and confident that she is in the best place possible for something like this.

We are so touched by the emails, comments, Facebook posts, balloons and gifts, and care packages that we have received. We can definitely feel the love. It's helped to keep us propped up and you are all here in spirit.

Will update as we know more!

It's a go

Dr. Sood came and met with us after the conference and he is in full agreement with Dr. Chugani. So surgery is tomorrow at 8:30am. It will last 6-8 hours. We are ready and feel really good about things, which is funny in a way since this isn't the ideal scenario we were hoping for. But it's not the worst either and I just have a strong feeling this is the right thing for Julia.

Julia's sleeping a lot and having a much better day than yesterday. No more procedures on her (that I know of anyway) so it's just a matter of keeping her comfortable until tomorrow.
Barring any major happenings this is probably the last update for the day. Expect lots of surgery updates tomorrow.

The plan

The surgical conference isn't due to meet until 11:30 but Dr. Chugani and Dr. Asano just paid us a visit with their findings. The areas involved are her temporal, occipital and parietal lobes. This is the bulk of the nastiness that is causing her seizures. Her frontal lobe is normal which we were really pleased to hear. Unfortunately, part of her motor cortex has spiking too. Ideally you would want it not to be involved at all, because if any of that has to be removed it can cause permanent deficits on her right side. However, there is a procedure called MST (multiple subplial transection) that can preserve the motor function while suppressing the spiking that can cause seizures. In this procedure they make small vertical slices through the nerve fibers. Dr. Chugani said this procedure is not guaranteed...she could still have some spiking that would cause seizures. But it's a nice balance between being conservative and liberal and if there is any spiking it should be able to be controlled with medication.

He said if it was his child this is the route he would want to take. That speaks volumes and we agreed that this is the route to go. The other option would be to entirely remove the motor cortex...this would ensure seizure control but would leave her with a limp and a useless right hand. There is no way we can choose that option at this point.

With this option we do run the risk of having to repeat the surgery at some point when she's older. But Dr. Chugani feels this will get us through the critical early years when cognitive development is so important and that removing the three lobes previously mentioned will improve that. And hopefully that won't even be an issue and this surgery will take care of things. It's a bit of a gamble but one we're willing to take. In his words, at least we will know we gave her every shot to have full motor function.

The conference still has to take place and Dr. Sood needs to be in agreement before any of this is a go so we'll get confirmation later this afternoon but most likely this will be the plan. Keep those prayers coming!

Much better

Just a quick update since I know people are checking on us frequently. Julia had a much better night. She slept from 6pm to 2:30am straight, which was wonderful. She has dozed on and off since then and is irritable but much less agitated than yesterday. She keeps asking for different things to drink but doesn't actually want to drink anything. I think she is looking for some way to comfort herself. I am so relieved that this is our last day with the grids in!

I haven't seen any seizures since she woke up so fingers crossed they're being controlled now. Dr. Asano will begin the motor and sensory mapping at 9:30 this morning and we'll get an update on the results from the surgical conference sometime this afternoon as well as a time for surgery tomorrow. Tomorrow! Feels really good to say that.

I have appreciated all the wonderful comments, especially from those who have been in our shoes. I spent a good amount of time reading Jackson's story, a sweet little guy from Houston who had his surgery done here last year. I was sorry to read that he also had a difficult time during this stage but relieved to see we are not alone. You hear from the doctors that this stuff is normal but it really sinks in when you hear about other stories.

I will update later tonight after we hear from all of Julia's doctors.

The Silver Lining

After writing a post that is sure to worry the dickens out of everyone who loves Julia (and us too), I felt I owed it to everybody to share a nice moment we just had. Julia is finally sleeping although still tossing and turning a bit...during one turn, the gauze covering her head slipped off entirely. To say I freaked is an understatement. I was trying to get Michael to press the emergency button but he was pretty sure it only warranted a standard nurse phone call. Her wonderful nurse (seriously, the woman is a saint) came in with a helper and removed the wrap entirely and put on a new one. We got to see the incision and it's clean, dry, and sealed tight as a drum. There's no way she could have hurt herself. It made us both feel infinitely better. The incision is not nearly as grisly as I thought it might be either. So we're both feeling more positive and hopefully she'll get some quality sleep and not be as miserable when she wakes up.

Downside

This is not a fun post to write. Today has not been a fun day. All those prayers for seizures? Well, please send some up for seizures to stop. She was started on IV Dilantin this morning but it doesn't seem to be working very well. This afternoon she has had long clusters (we're talking 40-50 minutes) of spasms that are not severe but upset her a lot. They've tried giving her Ativan, Versed, she's had her morphine and tylenol, but none of it is helping her to be comfortable or to sleep more than a few minutes at a time. We saw someone from neurosurgery and they said this is not uncommon but man, it is very upsetting for all of us. The worst is that she will not stop thrashing around in her bed. She keeps getting tangled up in all of the wires attached to her, and the worst was when she got a good tug on the wires coming out of the back of her head. That has always been Michael's greatest fear, that she would somehow damage her brain by doing that, and while no one seems to think it's possible that she hurt anything that seed has now been planted in my head.

Tuesday seems eons away. I'm hoping that tomorrow when everyone is back in the hospital we can get some reassurance that everything is okay for now. Weekends in the hospital are just awful when you want to get answers, no one is here.

I am not a crier in the hospital but my voice sure has been wavery today. I appreciate phone calls most of the time but I'm just not in the mood to talk right now. This stuff is just hard and there's nothing else to do but get through it. We just have to get through the hours until surgery.

Finally

We wanted seizures...and that's what we got. I got a nice chunk of sleep from 8:30-2, came back to the hospital, and as I walked down the hall towards Julia's room I saw people going in talking about "grids" and "seizures". My heart jumped in my throat with equal parts hopefulness and dread....this was it. I entered the room to see the tail end of a cluster, and what a cluster it apparently was. Michael said he had a very hard time keeping her restrained enough that she didn't hurt herself or any of the monitoring equipment. The cluster lasted a good 15 or 20 minutes and was typical of her normal seizures (except more severe), which is all good and exactly what we wanted to see.

Her poor face is so much more swollen than it was when I left her at 8pm. Both eyes are almost completely closed and it's heartbreaking to see her like that. She's still just as sweet and happy as ever and it doesn't seem to bother her very much. I don't even think I'm going to post a picture of it (don't want to upset the grandmothers, you know). Everyone assures us it's very normal and to be expected.

So apparently they want her to have at least a few more seizures and a chance to review the data before any meds will be started. She'll get Versed if she has another monster cluster but other than that we wait until morning and for neurosurgery to take a look at everything.

I've been spending some time tonight reading once again through Sophie's story for inspiration, strength, guidance...the usual. Tonight I found a nuggest that made me smile... we are in the same room, 586, that she was at this stage in the game. Just a little detail but kind of neat.

Pictures

Here are some pictures of Jules. This is yesterday shortly after we saw her in ICU:


And this is just now...you can see how swollen her left eye has become.

In the past hour she's really perked up...we've read books, she's pointed out letters (her favorite past time of late), watched Elmo's Alphabet Rap on the computer...she's definitely perking up.

Day Two

We are now relaxing in our spacious, quiet, PRIVATE room...it's pretty darn nice after the cramped PICU room that we shared with another patient. Julia is doing well, her fever is gone, the swelling is definitely more pronounced today and she is still not in a good mood. Michael came and took over for me around 9:30am and I went back to the room to take a quick nap. He said that she got a sponge bath before they moved her and when the nurse was putting lotion on her she produced the closest thing to a smile that has been seen since we got here.

The frustrating part...STILL no seizures. We're getting a little nervous, to be honest. How could a child who produced daily seizures you could set your watch to suddenly just stop? Is it the morphine? Surely not, right? We've seen a couple of single twitches that look like perhaps a cluster is about to start but then nothing. Dr. Asano looked at one on the EEG and said there was some spiking but no seizure associated with it. We've got all day today and tomorrow but we really need to get some seizures recorded. She did not want to cooperate with some of the mapping that Dr. Asano attempted today, naming pictures, etc. She also still hasn't had anything to drink or eat. This morning she asked me hopefully "all done?" as in, can we go home now? I wish kiddo.

Sounds weird, but please pray for seizures!

Night Owl

It's 3am. I got some sleep from about 10-2 and then came back to the PICU to relieve Michael. Julia's doing well...so far no seizures. She has never really had seizures after coming out of anesthesia and hasn't had any deep sleep yet which is usually what triggers them. She's still off all anti-epileptic drugs so I'm sure by later today we'll see something.

She's been running fever and the nurses say that can be normal. Tylenol has been helping to bring it down but it hasn't gone completely away. Her blood pressure, urine output, breathing and ICP (intra-cranial pressure) are all good so they're not worried about the fever at this point. She is not happy...and it's very hard to see her like this and know that we've got at least 7 more days of it. I have to keep reminding myself why we are doing this because it's easy to forget when all you want to do is scoop her up and take her home. She likes to hold my hand and have me right beside her which I'm happy to do.

We should be out of PICU by noon tomorrow and in a regular room. Will update then!

Reunited...and it feels so good

We are finally with Julia in the PICU. She's doing really well, a little swollen but resting comfortably. She waved to us when we came in the room which was great. We were told the first thing she said when she woke up was "puppy"...big surprise, huh? She has had a couple of periods when she gets upset but calms down quickly. I'll update more tomorrow but for now she's doing great.

Waiting, waiting and more waiting

Unfortunately we are still waiting to see Julia. The recovery room is full and they are waiting on her room to be ready in the PICU. In the meantime we got an update that she is doing "awesome", in the words of the nurse. She's been sleeping a little but is now awake, she had a couple of x-rays taken (not sure for what...Elaine?) and was cooperative and did great with that. If recovery clears out a bit we can see her before she goes over to PICU but for now we won't hear anything until 3:30 at least.

We went to get some lunch and ran into Dr. Chugani in the hall. He basically reiterated what Dr. Sood but it was great to talk to him and get that extra reassurance. I asked him if we would be keeping her on Vigabatrin after the surgery and he said he'd like to get her off but we'd probably keep her on it for a little longer and then repeat the EEG to see what it looks like. Darn...she's been on it so long (since she was 6 months old) and I'd really like to see how she does without it. Either way it sounds like she'll be off it soon.

ETA: Thought I'd throw in a few pictures of Julia before surgery this morning:

Putting surgical gloves on puppy and dressed in her hospital gown.

Playing in the admitting waiting room.

Dr. Sood spoke with us a few minutes ago and said that the initial data looks as if the focus is the left temporal lobe. We are so hopeful that this will be the case. Now we are just waiting for a nurse to come and get us when it's time to see her. At least we think that's what we're waiting for...we were both so relieved and focused on the good news that everything was done that we didn't quite catch the part about what to do next. So we're just sitting tight until further notice...

To give some more detail on Dr. Asano...he's the guy who will be doing the motor and sensory mapping as well as coming up with different surgical plans in case plan A is not able to be carried out. She will be off medication for the rest of the day so that as many seizures as possible can be recorded, then Dilantin will be administered starting tomorrow through her IV. We will also reintroduce Vigabatrin but if she's not able to tolerate taking that orally she will have the IV Dilantin as a backup. They will then discuss the data in Monday's surgical conference and decide what should be removed.

Surgery is over

We just heard about 30 minutes ago that they were closing her up and the surgery went well with no complications. Dr. Asano came and met with us, asked us questions about her speech capabilities and seizure types, and told us what to expect for the next several days. We are waiting for Dr. Sood to come and speak to us which should happen in the next 15 minutes or so. She will be in recovery around 1pm and then moved to PICU at 3pm which is when we'll see her. I can't wait! I am so relieved this step of surgery is over. It was about an hour and a half between updates and I was getting very anxious during that last half hour that we hadn't heard anything. Thanks for all the prayers, comments, good wishes...they mean the world!

Here we go

We just got the call that the incision has been made and surgery is underway. There really isn't a word in the english language to describe what we're feeling. Gulp. That pretty much does it.

Update

Julia has now gone back to the O/R. We met with Dr. Sood beforehand, as well as various anethesiologists and nurses. We were told it would take about an hour to get things going and the surgery itself would take 2-3 hours. They expect to finish around noon and we will get hourly updates. I got to go back with her and stay with her as she got the gas. She was in a great mood as we walked down the hall but did not enjoy getting the laughing gas and being held down. She cried just a little though as the gas quickly took effect. I gave her a kiss goodbye and was taken back to the waiting room. Puppy stayed with her and will be there to greet her as she wakes up. (And yes, I did mention to the staff in the room that he was far from sterile!) We just got a quick cup of coffee in the cafeteria and are on our way back up to the surgical waiting room to...wait. More as soon as we hear it.

Surgery day

We're here. Julia was just admitted and we are in the surgical waiting room waiting to be called back. We got to Detroit around 5pm last night, checked in to the International House and went to dinner. We all got to bed around 8:30 (even Julia!) which was nice because Michael and I both tossed and turned with worry. The fact that the pillows felt like they were stuffed with straw didn't help much. I'm hoping whatever sleep we did get is enough to power us through the day because I know this first day will be draining.

Julia is in great spirits, even though she is concerned by the fact that Daniel is not with us. I can't begin to tell you the emotions we are feeling, although I know the parents that have been through this before know exactly. I got the kindest email from Elaine overnight giving us a recap of their experience on this first day...it is so calming to hear from others who not only have been through the same thing but also in the same hospital with the same doctors! So thanks again Elaine.

I will update later this morning and keep everyone posted throughout surgery.

Tomorrow we pack up the car and make the 3+ hour drive to Detroit. In preparation for surgery, we decided to get Julia's hair cut as short as possible in order to cut down on the messiness that I'm sure is an inevitable part of a surgery like this. So yesterday she went from this:

to this! It's probably the most hair she's had cut off at one time. I miss the longer hair but oh well, it will grow back.

We are ready...well, as ready as you can ever be to have your child undergo a surgery like this. I think the anticipation has been just as hard as anything else, so it will be nice to get things underway and know that every day brings us closer to getting Julia to her full potential and a life without seizures.

Thanks for all the good thoughts and prayers!

The surgery

It's finally here...the week of Julia's surgery. On September 18th, Julia will have the first of a two-part epilepsy surgery at Children's Hospital of Michigan in Detroit. Michael and I will be with her around the clock for the next few days until she has the second part done on September 22nd. This will be the place to look for updates and more information...cell phones don't work very well in the hospital and it will be nice to only have to give out the information once. We are not looking forward to the process but are very hopeful for a good outcome and the end of seizures. We'll be driving up to Detroit on the 17th and will check in to the hospital the morning of the 18th. Please keep our little girl in your thoughts and prayers.

Summer days

Well hello there!

We are enjoying the last days of August. As many of you know Julia will not be starting the school year with the rest of her class since we need to keep her well for next month's surgery. So summer continues at our house for another few weeks. We're trying to stay busy to keep boredom from setting in...

The kids both love going for walks, Daniel watches the world pass by from the comfort of his stroller....

Julia and Puppy walk beside us, and Julia is the navigator telling me to follow her "this way! this way!"

However, boredom inevitably sets in and that's when it's time to torment Daniel. Julia loves her baby brother but sometimes resents the way he takes up family resources. Here she is stealing food off Daniel's tray. You would think we never fed the poor child by the way she snatches every morsel away from Daniel, sometimes even out of his little hand.

Here is our little street urchin staring longingly at the dinner cooking in the oven. I had to take this picture, you would be amazed at how long she sat there watching her food cook. She is my little helper these days, I can't do anything around the house without her wanting to help. She even helped me wrap a present for a birthday party this past weekend and actually did a good job putting tape on the package.

Daniel is still everywhere and is now fascinated with the stairs. He hasn't figured out how to climb them yet but it's only a matter of time.

And as always, there's lots of dancing....

Here we are

The website I've been using to post pictures of the kids has not been working lately...I keep getting error messages when I try to upload pictures and it's getting very frustrating. So here's the new place for all things Julia and Daniel. I actually prefer this format better because I can write a little more about each picture and what we're doing. Seems to be a better way to keep up with us! So without further ado, on to the kids....

Daniel is finally getting some teeth in...here you can see his two bottom teeth and the top ones are working their way in. The worst of the teething seems to be over (knock wood) although if you're not careful he will bite you.

He found this flower on the kitchen floor yesterday and I got this shot as he played in the afternoon sun. Look at all the hair he has now!

It's hard to get good crawling pictures since they can't actually, you know, MOVE in a photo. But crawling he is, all over the house. He still has a hard time pulling up to stand but he works on it all day long. He makes it about half the time.

Julia has been staying busy with various arts and crafts, Playdoh is a big favorite (or "pay-noh" as she calls it). I've found that anything that confines her to her chair for 20-30 minutes at a time is a good way to get dishes done or laundry folded. Otherwise she takes my distraction as an opportunity to wallop Daniel.

What about this angelic little creature could cause such wrath? It seems that every since he started crawling (i.e. able to get into her stuff) she has developed some anger management issues towards him. Learning how to share is still a work in progress and if my childhood memories serve correctly, it will be an ongoing lesson for the next 15 years or so.

Last weekend we went to Coney Island again for Michael's annual company picnic. As usual, Julia's favorite part was the variety show they have there. At one point they invited all the kids on stage and of course our little diva ran right up there. This would have been a great picture if
that lady hadn't gotten in the way. But you can see Julia standing in front of the girl in the blue dress.

She also had her first experience with face painting but was not happy that SHE couldn't actually do the painting. But she was still very happy to get her "makeup" as she called it.

That's it for now.